Dear Gracie
by Stephensmat
Summary: For Dale's sake, Skylar finally has to settle her issues with Gracie. A DaleSkylar drabble, because there just aren't enough DaleSkylar fics out there. Rated T because it's set during the end of the world after all.


It just took me a little longer Gracie.

I know you don't approve of me. I probably deserve it. But to be fair, you've dealt with worse than a cheerleader.

I know I was self-absorbed. I know I was awful to him. I know he's like a son to you Gracie, but everything else has changed, so why cant you give me the benefit of the doubt?

I was the one that threw a huge party while everybody else started stealing canned goods from you. But I'm not that stupid Gracie, it just took me a little longer.

I remember why you hate me. I treated you awful too. Fighting with you over what you stocked, and over the clothes you wore, and the music you sold. I remember my life then only briefly. It's getting harder to remember that there was a life before the attack. I was always s concerned with being popular, wearing the latest fashion, being seen with the right people, having the latest electronic gadget, reading up on the latest diet.

I was mean; I don't deny it, but Dammit Grace, that was before. Everything else changed, why couldn't I?

Dale and I only talked about it once. He remarked on it when I started using my lipstick to mark things for trade or trash. The TV; the stereo. There was a time that I would have paid twenty bucks for that shade of red, now it's a throwaway pen.

I'm not that person Grace, not any more.

There's no point being popular, because popular people get noticed. It's not a good time to be noticeable in a crowd. The top fashion today is what's clean. The top fashion tomorrow will be what's warm. The top fashion after that will be whatever doesn't have holes in it.

I'm learning how to sew Gracie. Me. Doesn't that tell you something?!

The best electronic gadget today is whatever doesn't need electricity. The best electronic gadget tomorrow will be whatever doesn't need batteries. The best electronic gadget after that will be whatever doesn't need parts. I traded my I-pod to Christie for her grandfather's windup record player. I'm writing this by candlelight while playing a waltz on LP. 

I don't even know how to waltz. Doesn't that tell you something?!

The newest fad diet is to eat whatever you've got before it spoils. Tomorrow the fad diet will be whatever's canned. After that the diet will be whatever's edible and not glowing from the fallout.

The fallout's where it stated Gracie. I didn't realize then, I honestly thought it would only last a day. My dad would come home and my mom would bring a new outfit from one of those New York fashion stores. Then one day became two, and I figured they'd just be a while. There was a mushroom cloud in the distance after all. Then the lights went out. I threw the party, put out a huge spread. You and Dale were holding vigil over that tape of his parent's dying.

You were wiping away his tears; I was handing out corn chips.

Yes dammit, I was stupid, but it just took me a little longer.

The town ran to the mines, I stayed inside. He came and saved me. I wouldn't leave, because I thought my parents would be home soon. So he stayed too, just to keep me safe. He saved my life with masking tape and saran wrap!

God Gracie, the look on his face got me there. I always loved watching the rain. That day it terrified me. The rain came down, and left black dust behind. It was the death of normal Gracie.

My credit card didn't work, and then it clicked. Then I understood. I cried for hours that night, and haven't cried since. You've got to keep your eyes clear.

I became a survivor then Gracie, started looking at my huge house, wondering how on earth I was going to keep it warm in winter, wondering who was going to try and break-in first, wondering if I could keep it safe, keep it mine, just in case they came home.

My friends stopped coming around. I'm not the spotlight girl any more. Everyone's looking out for themselves now. But I'm still alive. It just took me a little longer.

I'm not her anymore Gracie. Everybody else changed.

Dale...

Dale changed fastest. Faster than me, faster than you, faster than the mayor himself, because he heard his mother scream on that tape and he knew. He knew first.

He's not my boyfriend Gracie. He's a survivor now, and so am I, thanks to him.

I was so much worse to him than I was to you Gracie, and he forgave me instantly, saved my life, and watched my back. I called him a loser and a freak, just to impress my friends, and still he came back for me when the rain fell. It's because he knew at once what took me another two days to figure out. He and I were the same all of a sudden.

All the effort I put into being one of the popular 'in-crowd' kids, and I'm suddenly alone in a category with Dale Turner. Can you believe that?

We got close because we're the same. The only real orphans in Jericho. The new girl's parents came with her when she moved here. Heather brought all those school kids back safe after the bomb went off, even Jake Green, the prodigal son himself, came home!

Me and Dale, we're the same. We're the orphans. So yeah, I took him in. Nobody else is coming to get him.

I'm not sleeping with him Gracie. Candlelight isn't for romance anymore. My dad told me once, mostly as a joke, that lots of babies get born nine months after a tragedy, but this is different. This isn't a world to risk teen pregnancy in, and it's not like the local pharmacy is going to get restocked either.

It's not a good idea to be alone all night, in a huge expensive house, and while I still have friends, and any number of young men willing to spend the night here, Dale's the only one who isn't...shall we say, demanding payment for their company. And if I have my girlfriends for a sleepover, they'd still have to go home, leaving me in this huge and useless house. But not Dale.

I love him for that.

He gave me back my family Gracie. He and I were the only ones left in Jericho that had no hope of family left, and then he got word New York was still there, and came running to tell me. It's such a long way from here Gracie, and they might be gone anyway, but still...

He still has that tape Gracie. He saved his batteries for the tape player, and listens to his mother scream over and over, every night, when he thinks I cant hear him. I kept picturing it Gracie, seeing my mom and dad swallowed by a shockwave, or rotting from the fallout like those people who were outside.

In the space of one sentence from him they were alive. I love him so much.

I could see it in his eyes though; all of a sudden he was all alone in the world, knowing that my family could be alive, while his were dead. So yes, I gave him a hug. Yes, I told him how grateful I was. Yes I took him in.

Would you have come running to tell me my family was alive?

I was there when you threw him out. It took me a while to figure out why you did it, HOW you could do it. When he gave me that jewelry box back I knew. You hated him for defending me. I don't blame you, who else did you have? You and Dale, who else did either of you have? Is that all it was? You didn't want to share your helper?

You thought I was using him, maybe I was, but what were you doing differently?

He didn't have to work for you any more, but he did. He stayed in your shop to keep watch. He kept you open and you gave him a cot in your shut down freezer.

That day…I wasn't being selfish, I just had to try. If by some act of God, Dale's mom actually came home tomorrow, she'd find ashes where her home used to be. There's a chance that my mom might come home now! So sue me if I wanted my mom to come home to her things, my dad gave her that jewelry box!

I know why you lied to me about the box Grace; you had no reason to tell me. All trades were final.

But why couldn't you tell him? He walked for three days and nights bringing you stuff from that train. He didn't bring any of it to me, and he didn't keep any of it for himself, he brought it all to you. He didn't say anything in front of your customers when you lied to me. He didn't even say anything when you started trading with Jonah, and how you can justify dealing with him, while still writing me off as not good enough for Dale...

He doesn't sleep. I've got about four bedrooms in this house, and he doesn't even stay in one of them. He sits in my living room watching out the windows. When he dozes he has nightmares, they're either about that answering machine tape, or about two days before the bombs.

You know why he took it so hard? Because he was meant to go with them when they left. His first night here with me, I heard him wake up screaming, calling for him mom in a blind panic. 

I went running into the living room, and he sobbed out the whole story. He was meant to go with them that day. They were going to visit some family of theirs who lived about ten miles OUTSIDE of that city, and he had some friends in that neighborhood. Then the day his parents left, he had a fight with them. Nothing serious, it was a fight that would have been forgotten by morning, but those words are not the ones you say goodbye forever with.

They left and he stormed back to his house in a fit of anger. They didn't stay over so that he could visit his friends; they went back into the city. If he had gone with them, they'd have lived.

I can hear him from my room. You and Mayor Green's wife talked about how stoic he is, but you don't see him at night. I help him then Gracie. I'm the only one who sees the fatigue, sees the panic, sees the tears. I was the only one who saw, because I was the only one he told.

I told him he can stay with me. This is his home now. We're family now. He loves me for that.

I'm sorry Gracie. Maybe this isn't what you say in a goodbye letter, but it's not like you can hold that grudge any more. But for Dale's sake, I need to settle whatever issues I have with you. He hated that you and I didn't get along. 

So I'm going to finish up this letter, and then I'm going to go to the store and leave it on your memorial. There are lots of letters there, a few mementos, but only one candle. Nobody wants to leave anything so valuable as a candle for a dead woman. But for Dale's sake, I wanted to do something special, so I'm going to leave flowers. I traded some potatoes to Christie for the roses in her garden. Everybody else is growing food in their backyards now, but she's still growing roses and daisies and tulips.

It's taking Christie a little longer too.

I'm the only person he had left after you Grace. You couldn't be honest with him for that? That's why he left. He wasn't making a choice, he was making a stand.

And the night he walked away, you died. He turned his back for two minutes leaving you alone after a stupid fight over something that would have been settled by morning, and he gets orphaned all over again.

And he doesn't blame me. He blames himself. Again.

He's going someplace very dark, and I'm the only one who knows why.

I'm going to take good care of him for you.

Now you're not here, I'm the only one left who can.

Skylar.


End file.
